


Please Come Home (I need you here with me).

by diazsbuckaroo



Series: you know I'm always there for you, Evan [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck Is In A Coma, Eddie and Buck are dating, F/M, Hurt Evan Buck Buckley, M/M, Multi, the 118 family, the 118 stays at the hospital with him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazsbuckaroo/pseuds/diazsbuckaroo
Summary: Buck is the victim of a drunk driving hit and run, making everyone of the 118, including boyfriend Eddie, nauseated with fear and worry; Maddie must make a life or death decision for her brother until a miracle occurs in front of everyone’s eyes.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley
Series: you know I'm always there for you, Evan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895335
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	1. Waiting Game

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is kinda depressing, but just a quick idea turned new fanfic story!! Hope you guys like it!

3 hours.

That’s how long it’s been since Buck was wheeled into the emergency room from the 118’s own ambulance.

_ How did these 3 hours feel like 3 years?  _ Eddie thought. 

He slumped back in his chair- hard, uncomfortable, cold, plastic chair- with the Starbucks coffee Athena had brought everyone resting in his grasp. He, Hen, Bobby, Athena, Maddie, and Chimney were all in the same boat, playing the excruciatingly long waiting game that was sitting in a hospital, something each and every one of them have done too many damn times. 

“God, when are they gonna give us an update already?!” Eddie yelled, becoming restless and sick of doing nothing when the man he loved was hurt. Exhaustion also played a big role in his temper. 

“Eddie,” Bobby’s calm demeanor caught the attention of Eddie’s spiraling mind. “I’m sure they’ll tell us news soon, okay?” He nodded yes to Cap as he returned to blankly staring at the OR doors. 

“Hang in there, Buckaroo.” Athena prayed out loud. 

After  ~~ an hour ~~ a half hour more of sitting, Eddie and the whole group’s heart rate skyrocketed when a doctor wearing surgical scrubs appeared from the doors, stopping over at the nurses station before walking in their direction. 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Davis,” She too had a calming tone to her voice, speaking softly so others, strangers, wouldn’t overhear their conversation. “Evan is out of surgery, but he isn’t conscious. We were forced to keep the intubation tube in since he has definite brain trauma at the moment. We were though able to control the internal bleeding we found in his abdomen and then relocate his right shoulder, and that all went well.” 

“When can the intubation tube come out?” Hen asked. 

“I wish I knew for sure, but whenever he wakes up.” The doctor’s pager buzzed in her pants pocket, making her check it. “I’m so sorry to run like this, but another patient of mine is crashing. If you have any other questions, please let the nurses know and I’ll come back.” She half heartedly smiled at the group before jogging off to the room wing. 

“When can we see Evan Buckley?” Eddie walked over to the nurse who stood at the desk. She checked over all the doctor’s notes, and glanced at Eddie. 

“He’s in recovery now, when he gets moved to his room, I’ll let you know.” She as well, gave a half smile before leaving as Eddie dragged himself back to his seat.Feeling tears form in his eyes, he turned to Bobby.

“I-I just want to see him. I want to hold his hand and be with him.” 

“I know Eddie, I know. Hopefully soon you-“ 

“Sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Buckley is being moved to his room now. You can head up their and see him anytime.” The nurse came back over to the group, handing a slip of paper containing Buck’s room number on it, then leaving once more. 

“Eddie, why don’t you go on ahead.” Chimney suggested.

“Why don’t we all go?” 

“You need to see Buck more than anyone right now. We’ll head up there in 10 minutes, okay?” Hen added.

“And plus,” Maddie also interjected, sniffling back tears. “I know he wants to see you too.” Eddie’s brows lowered as he mouthed thank you to everyone, turning away and walking to room 234 in the ICU.

——————————

The on call ICU nurse handed Eddie a disposable gown and gloves, helping him tie it shut before entering Buck’s room. Eddie was cautious at first, skittish to see Buck so helpless and- and lifeless. He slowly scooted a chair close to Buck’s bedside and lowered himself into it, taking Buck’s scraped and battered hands into his blue-gloved one, interlacing their fingers. 

“Baby, it’s me, it’s Eddie. I’m here.” He whispered. “I’m not leaving your side.” A tear rolled down his cheek, dripping onto his shirt. 

Eddie looked Buck up and down, focusing in on the sling containing his right arm to stabilize his hurt shoulder. His face had cuts, a few requiring to be shut with stitches, he noticed.  _ Somehow, even a hospital gown made his biceps look huge _ , Eddie thought, giving himself a mini chuckle.But what he saw most of all was the giant tube sticking out of Buck’s mouth, making his chest rise and fall automatically, thanks to a machine. It hurt Eddie to think that Buck couldn’t breathe for himself right now, that his brain was so hurt it couldn’t function enough to keep him awake. Buck was in a coma, and no one knew how long it’d take for him to wake up. 

Eddie’s right hand stroked Buck’s dirty messy blonde hair ever so gently, brushing the curls off his forehead but to no avail since they all just came right back. 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, babe.” He lowered his face into the bedside next to their hands, softly weeping into the blanket. He couldn’t hold his emotions in check any longer, he was at his breaking point. All Eddie wanted to do was either go back to the accident site and push Buck out of the way from the drunk driver or for him to wake up. But since he could change the past, Eddie wished and  wished for him to open his eyes, him being strong enough for the doctors to take out the breathing tube letting Buck talk again and joke with Eddie or say I love you one more time. 

“You okay?” Maddie softly spoke while sneaking in the doorway. She placed her hands over her mouth while tears streamed out of her as well, shocked and concerned above all. Eddie collected himself and rose his head but didn’tbreak their hand hold. 

“Yeah, I suppose. I-I keep telling myself it’s all gonna be okay, Buck’s gonna wake up. But how do we know? I mean, he could never go back to being Buck as we know him.” Maddie herself pulled a chair over as Eddie spoke, resting her hand on his shoulder. 

“I know. I have have the same thoughts. I can’t stand seeing my baby brother all hurt and broken like this.” She took a deep breath. “All we can do is pray right?” 

“Right.” 


	2. Life or Death

2 weeks. 

Now it’s been 2 weeks since Buck was first brought into the ER. And he hasn’t woken up. 

It’s been 2 weeks of Eddie going to work, then going to the hospital immediately following the end of his shift. Christopher understood why Eddie wasn’t home a lot, since he told him about Buck’s accident, which ever since, he has been begging to see Buck. 

The 2 weeks took it’s toll on everyone in the 118 family- Bobby, Athena, Hen, Chimney, Maddie; even with Michael and Karen stopping by every now and then. They collectively didn’t want Buck waking up alone, which is why they all practically lived at the hospital. 

Eddie visited Buck’s house often just to open the blinds and make it look like someone was home, (just so he didn’t get robbed) even though the someone who lived there wouldn’t be back home for a long time now. Eddie even packed a duffle bag full of clothes that he’d take to Buck so he’d have his own clean shirts and pants to wear as he lay in the hospital recovering from his surgery, when, of course, he woke up. God, even his clothes smelled like him, and Eddie could clearly remember how hot Buck looked in every single one of these shirts and pants he picked out. Every day that Buck didn’t wake up, Eddie broke down in tears. When he came to Buck’s apartment most days Eddie just lay in Buck’s bed and cried. He missed him, his body, his presence, his full-of-life spirit, his can-do attitude, his braveness that shines through him at every call they went on. He missed Buck’s kind, sweet, caring, and soft heart that he wore on his sleeve 24/7. He craved the taste of Buck’s lips on his, the feeling of love when they held each other. 

Yeah, Eddie was an emotional mess.

————————

“Hi Buckaroo.” Eddie entered his ICU room the next day, whispering. Eddie took Buck’s hand in his own, locked their fingers together again. “I miss you baby. Um, today, me and the team went on 5 calls so kind of a slow day. One of them was a standard fire and rescue mission at a restaurant downtown, and the others were medical emergencies.” He sniffled. “You would of loved where we had to go today, an animal shelter. One of the volunteers had a heart attack and then after we played with the puppies.” He chuckled, but the tears returned. “Hey listen, please come home babe, I need you here with me. I need you back at the station...” Tears raced out of his eyes instantly. “I need you to come on calls with us and do crazy rope rescues and bust into concrete like you love doing. I need you to have dinners again with me and Christopher, to play video games, to play with Chris again. I need you to just come home to us....all of us.” 

Buck’s eyes started fluttering awake as Eddie felt Buck grip his hand back. And suddenly, Eddie felt as everything would be okay. 

Then Eddie came back to reality. His imagination was playing games with him. Or maybe that was just the exhaustion talking. Back in real life Buck was still in his coma. His eyes were closed and hand still lifeless in Eddie’s grip. 

“Hi,” a soft voice appeared behind Eddie, as he turned around to find Dr. Davis in the doorway. “Is this a bad time?” She must of seen Eddie’s wet eyes and blush red cheeks.

“No, no come in, sorry.” 

“Don’t be, it’s okay. I know how hard this must be on you and the fire family. Uh, you’re Mr. Buckley’s boyfriend, Eddie right?” She looked at her iPad for a split second. 

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He adjusted his grasp on Buck’s hand. 

“Mr. Buckley’s-“ 

“Buck. He goes by Buck.” Eddie interrupted. 

“Oh, okay, uh, Buck’s sister Maddie told me you two are in a relationship.” Eddie nodded, of course Maddie told her. 

“Yeah we are. Is there any new news on Buck’s progress?” Eddie glanced up with puppy eyes. 

“No, no, I’m sorry.” She looked over at Buck, then up at the monitor screens. “But everything seems good, heart rate, oxygen, temperature and BP all at normal rates. I am however ordering a CAT scan for later this afternoon....” 

“What-why?” Hearing CAT scan set off many alarms in Eddie’s mind.

“It’s been almost 3 weeks now and-“ 

“And you want to know whether or not he’s brain dead.” Eddie sternly interrupted, staring off into space at the thought of them pronouncing Buck- young, vibrant, healthy, strong, fit, Buck- brain dead. He almost threw up he was so sickened with fright.

Dr. Davis nodded slightly. “I’m so sorry, Eddie.” 

“What time is his scan today?” 

“At 2:30, so another 3 or so hours.” She checked her watch. 

“Can I be in the room with him?” 

“If you’d like to, yes. Did you want me to let his sister and the other firefighters know or-“

“No, I’ll tell them thank you though.” 

“Of course. I’ll be around this hall if you have any questions.” She patted Eddie on the arm before excusing herself out. As soon as he heard the mechanical doors shut Eddie started sobbing. 

“Buck, I can’t loose you, come on please, please come home to me. To-to Maddie, Athena, Bobby, Chimney, Hen, and Christopher. Please, you can’t be brain dead I- I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

The silenced air was filled with the ringing of Eddie’s phone- FaceTime call from Cap. He quickly dried his tears with his jacket sleeve and answered it. 

“Hi Cap.” 

“Eddie, you don’t look so good.” 

“Thanks.” He slightly chuckled.

“You know what I mean. Anyways, how our Buckaroo?” 

“Um...” Eddie sighed. “I really don’t know. But not good enough.” 

“Not good enough for what?” Bobby raised his brow. 

“They’re taking him for a CAT scan at 2:30. Eddie saw Bobby’s face freeze up. 

“To see if he’s.....” 

“Yeah.” Eddie rubbed his eyes to prevent them from leaking tears out. 

“Eddie, do you need someone else there with you?” 

“Yeah I think I do.” 

“Name who and I’ll call them for you.” 

Eddie sat back and thought for a brief moment. “Carla.” 

——————-

1:30 pm. Another hour left of waiting for Buck’s scan. Eddie was mindlessly scrolling through his Facebook feed when a familiar voice caught his attention, startling him. 

“Hi daddy!” 

“Christopher, hey!” He rushed over to his son’s side, giving him a big hug. “I’ve missed you buddy.” He stood up to give Carla and hug as well, who was leaning against the door. “I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Anytime Eddie, you know I’d do anything for you and Christopher.” She hugged back. 

“Is Bucky okay?” Christopher’s gaze locked in on the breathing tube. Eddie picked him up and sat him on his lap, now both sitting at Buck’s bedside.

“Yeah Chris, that tube’s just helping him breath while he sleeps, that’s all.” Eddie somehow managed to form the real story, that Buck was in a coma and couldn’t breath on his own, into a kid friendly version. 

“When will he wake up, dad?” Eddie glanced over his shoulder at Carla, breathing deeply before returning back to Christopher. 

“I’m not sure bud, I’m not.” 

“I miss him.” Christopher rested his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck. 

“Me too,” Eddie said, tears escaping his eye. “Me too.” 

—————

“Mr. Diaz, we’re ready to take Mr. Buckley down to his scan now.” The nurse entered the room, talking by Eddie who sat alone on his phone by Buck’s side. Carla had just taken Christopher home, Eddie didn’t want him knowing Buck had a scan that could literally determine life or death. 

“Oh, okay.” Eddie scooted his chair away to make room for more nurse to help transport him to the scan room. “Can I come?” 

“Of course.” A blonde haired nurse smiled at Eddie while she moved the ventilator out from the corner. The nurses raised the bars on the bed to push it out of the room, Eddie following behind. 

The machine was awful quiet, barely audibly noticeable. Eddie came into the room with Buck, holding his hand as the CAT scanner did it’s thing. 

“You’re doing great Buckaroo.” Eddie squeezed his hand.


	3. Brain Dead

4:25 pm, now and still no results available yet from Buck’s CAT about 2 hours ago. Eddie was growing more impatient by the minute with thoughts of  _what if he’s brain dead_ or _what if he’ll never wake up again_ clouding his mind. 

“Eddie, hi.” He knew that voice- Dr. Davis. Eddie’s heart rate sky rocketed when she entered. 

“Hi, are the results back yet?” He shot up from his seat. 

“Yes they are, why don’t you take a seat again.” She herself pulled a chair over as Eddie swallowed the biggest lump in his throat he’s ever felt. 

“Eddie, I don’t know how to say this.....but,the scans showed there’s no brain activity in Buck.” 

It’s amazing how one sentence can really just set your whole world on fire- Eddie’s was burning up and their would be no way to put it out. His breaths became short and chest tight, falling out of his chair to the floor in sobs, Dr. Davis catching his arm. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Wh-wh- what does this mean?” Eddie’s bottom lip quivered. 

“It means you can leave him on life support or take him off, letting him pass on.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie’s sobs continued. As a nurse walked in to change the IV drip bag, Dr. Davis spoke to her. 

“Can you call Mr. Buckley’s sister, and tell her to arrive here soon?” 

“Yes ma’am.” The nurse replied, shuttling off to the nurse’s station desk. 

“I’m so sorry.” Dr. Davis repeated to Eddie.

————

“Hi I’m Maddie Buckley, this is Howie Han, Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, and Hen Wilson,” Maddie ran up to the nurses station on the ICU floor. “We were told to come as quickly as possible for Evan Buckley?” 

“Yes, you all can follow me.” A nurse led them all to Buck’s room, where Eddie was now sitting back in his chair with his hands covering his face.  Not a good sign , they all thought. 

“Hi, you must be Buck’s family,” Dr. Davis greeted, Eddie uncovering his face as Cap rushed to his side. 

“Yes, is there news on Buck’s condition?” Athena put her hands in her uniform pockets- she was on duty but taking her break for this. Everyone’s eyes were locked on Dr. Davis as she sighed. 

“The CAT scan we administered on Buck today showed no brain activity left.” She softly spoke, obvious remorse filling her tone as Eddie broke down again. Maddie was on the verge of sobbing as well. 

“What-what do you mean there’s no activity?” Chimney countered. 

“It means that.....Buck is brain dead.” Now they were all crying. 

“No, nononono this can’t be, my brother isn’t brain dead!” Maddie yelled. 

“Mads,” Chimney took her by the shoulders to try and calm her emotions. 

“What now?” Bobby asked. 

“Well, you can choose to keep Buck alive on life support or take him off and let him pass. The decision, since she is the only blood relative, is Maddie’s to make.” 

“Oh my god.” Maddie fell to her knees much like Eddie did, Hen and Chimney catching her as she went down. 

“I’m so sorry you all, I am.” 


	4. Goodbye and Hello

The crew took turns rotating in and out to say their respective, private goodbyes to Buck, Eddie going last. 

“Buck,” He said while tears flowed down his face. “I never thought I’d be saying goodbye to you this soon, this fast. I never thought you’d been gone at only 28. Never in a million years did I ever think I’d have to tell an unconscious you that you make me so unbelievably happy, happier than I’ve ever been. That you have the biggest and sweetest heart I’ve ever seen someone have. That you are possibly the sexiest man I’ve ever seen and these past 6 months being your boyfriend have been the best in my entire life. That your muscles are delicious to kiss and your birthmark the cutest thing about you. That what I’m gonna miss most about you is your go-getter attitude, your braveness and kindness, your tenacity, your heroism. I can’t imagine going on living my life without you,” He paused to swallow a golf ball size lump in his throat. “But I will. Eventually, I will. I will because you give me strength, Evan Buckley. Your spirit is forever ingrained in my soul and my heart, and I will  never forget you. I promise.” He leaned over the bed to kiss him on the cheek, since his lips were unavailable. Then he moved his kiss to Buck’s birthmark and forehead, throwing his arms around Buck’s chest as Eddie rested his head on his shoulder, gently weeping. He wanted to soak in as many minutes of this as he could before it was too late. 

The rest of the crew joined Eddie in the room, all with their arms around one another’s side in a line behind Eddie. Dr. Davis walked in shortly after, handing papers to Maddie for her to sign. Her signature agreed to let her brother die, which killed her inside. Maddie too leaned over Buck, placing a kiss on his cheek and whispering, “I love you baby bro” before weeping in Chimney’s arms. Dr Davis slowly turned off the machines, everyone in the room bowing their heads except for Eddie, who’s head was still planted on top of Buck’s. 

Beep-beep. 

Beep-beep. 

Every head in the room shot up when they heard the monitory suddenly beeping, Eddie slowly rising his after hearing breathing sounds from Buck. Dr. Davis rushed to take the intubation tube out as Buck fluttered his eyes open. 

“Buck?” Eddie whispered. He felt Buck softly grasp his hand back, leaving Eddie shell shocked, like everyone else. Nurses rushed into the room in pairs as Dr. Davis yelled, “Get him up to CT now!” Eddie jumped off of the bed, releasing their hand hold as the doctor and nurses quickly pushed Buck to the CT room again. 

“What just happened.” Hen said as tears ran down her cheeks. 

—————-

“Well, it turns out after comparing the scan from earlier today to just a few minutes ago, we missed some brain activity. It was on the scans but we didn’t catch it.” She held up the 2 images side by side to the group. “See how it’s very faint, but it’s there, which means his brain was still alive when we thought it was dead.” 

“You-you mean you misdiagnosed someone of being brain dead? You- you looked at the scans and missed the brain waves we can all clearly see?!” Maddie exclaimed. “How do you do that?” Her voice was growing louder and louder. 

“It was an awful mistake, and-“ 

“No, I should write you up for malpractice!” Maddie screamed with anger, Chimney holding her back from punching the doctor which, she probably would if she had the chance. “You made  me decide whether to give up on my brother or not. You made me choose to let him just  die . And now you’re telling me that you messed up and it was all for nothing? All of our misery and grief was for nothing?” It was awkward in the room for everyone else, but Maddie was right to be upset. 

“I’m really sorry, it should of never have happened.” Dr. Davis tried to apologize. 

“Mads,” Chimney whispered. 

“Wh-what does this mean?” Athena jumped in to ask, changing the subject and conversation.

“It means that Buck’s recovery will be challenging and long, but that he’ll be okay.” Dr Davis cautiously replied.

“No,” Eddie shook his head. “It means that Buck is a  fighter . And he wasn’t ready to go.” He smiled. 

———————

“Eddie,” Buck managed to mutter out a few hours later. Athena, Hen, Bobby, Chim, and Maddie were all at work, but Bobby gave Eddie a day off after everything that happened, so there he was, at Buck’s side. 

“Buck, Buck, I’m here.”

“Eddie.” He managed to smile which turned to a grimace. “My head hurts.” 

“I know it does.” Eddie reached a hand up to run his fingers in Buck’s hair. 

“So does my shoulder and my abdomen.” Buck tried to rub his lower half, Eddie catching his hand before he had the chance. 

“You had surgery for internal bleeding Buckaroo, you have stitches there, that’s why it hurts so bad.” 

“I don’t remember.” 

“I know you don’t, but maybe that’s okay. Your brain needs to heal. You’ve been through a lot.” 

“How long have I been here?” Buck asked, raising a brow at Eddie. 

“About 3 weeks.” 

“How long have you been here?” He asked again.

Eddie smirked and looked at the ceiling for a moment before replying, “about 3 weeks.” That made Buck’s smile return.

“Thank you.” He whispered, Eddie bending over to kiss Buck’s lips. God, how he missed doing that. He took his lips away and gently rested their foreheads together.

“There is no place in this world I’d rather be than by your side, whenever and wherever.”


End file.
